Reasons for Adoption

Since we started this wonderful process of adoption a few months ago, I've thought a lot about people's views of adoption and assumptions about adoptive couples. There's no doubt that our society largely views adoption simply as an option for couples who are unable to have children by birth. And, that view is true to an extent. There are many infertile couples who turn to adoption to build their families, and adoption certainly is a wonderful blessing to those families.  But adoption isn't just for those couples who can't conceive.

In reading about adoption, I've seen families that choose adoption for all of the following reasons. I'm sure there are others as well; these are just the ones that came to mind first.

• Infertility -- Obviously many couples who cannot have biological children choose to adopt.
• Secondary infertility -- Other couples have one or more biological children and wish to continue growing their families but find themselves unable to have more children by birth.
  
• Difficult pregnancies -- Some women who have had difficult and/or dangerous pregnancies don't want to carry another baby but desire to have more children.
• Desire for a child of a particular gender -- Since having children by birth obviously doesn't give couples the ability to select the child's gender, some couples with two daughters, for example, who want to have a boy will bring a son into their family through adoption.
  
• Adoption only -- Some fertile couples would prefer to adopt rather than have biological children.
  
• Adoption first -- Some couples choose to adopt first and then have have biological children a few years later.
  
• Concern for orphans -- Many couples desire to be parents to the many children in the United States and around the world in need of a family. (To my adoption friends - I realize that the notion of adopting in order to "rescue" a child is somewhat controversial in the adoption world. I understand where people are coming from with this thinking, but I believe that concern for children without parents can be a very valid part of some couples' desire to adopt. I'll elaborate on this in a future post.)
• Desire to adopt -- Just as most people have a natural desire to have biological children, many couples have a desire to adopt children. I've spent a lot of time writing and rewriting this paragraph trying to explain this because I think it's hard for people who don't have this "adoption desire" to understand. I finally gave up. If you are one of the people who wants to parent an adopted child, you fully understand what I'm saying.

Many couples discover the beauty of building a family by adoption through their struggles with infertility. But I hope our society will begin to turn from the idea that adoption is nothing more than an infertility solution. Brad and I have come to see it as so much more than that, and we hope other people will as well. In my next post, I'll share more about how we came to the decision to adopt.